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It’s that time of year. Gyms are flooded with new people, fitness companies are marketing with an intensity akin to The Ultimate Warrior on a cocaine bender in 1989 and most of it will be over by Valentine’s Day. But why? Why do people set out with the best of intentions to improve their lives, but less than 10% stick with it? What’s the missing link? What are the successful people doing, that the unsuccessful are missing? What can YOU do this year, that will be the difference? What will make this “Your year”? I have an idea that may help.
A critical piece of achieving a goal that most miss, and the FIRST thing I talk to prospective clients about is this… Building and strengthening your support system. Making the changes to create a healthy lifestyle is difficult. If you don’t build a strong support system, you will ultimately leave yourself vulnerable to criticism & questioning when it can be most devastating. So we’ll talk about some actions to avoid these potential pitfalls.
But first, we all know how amazing an encouraging comment feels, we all know the confidence boost that comes from authentic recognition of a task completed. So how do we set ourselves up for more of this? Here’s how I help my clients do it: I’ll say, “Who are your biggest supporters? You’re going to go to those people, and tell them your goals and why they are important to you. You’re going to ask them for their support.”
I will also advise them to take & make friends at the gym. Any “self-help” book will say something about surrounding yourself with like-minded people. You are truly building a new healthy and fit lifestyle, I liken this to laying its foundation; the most important part. I can hear my grandfather’s words, “Show me who you hang with & I’ll show you who you are.”
So now you’re now set up for encouragement & recognition along your journey. So, you’re all set… right?
Nope.
When you’re working to improve anything (especially yourself) you are going to get unsolicited advice and criticism from the peanut gallery of life. People who know nothing about you or your goals are going to point at anything they can make look like a mistake. And worse yet, people who DO know you (or are at least close to you) are going to do the same. This can crush motivation for a person in the departure or the initial stages of the “Hero’s Journey”. If you don’t believe me, this is probably your first day on the internet.
Next up, we deal with potential detractors. Here, I’ll say, “If you made it clear that you’re working toward improving your health, who may try to dissuade you? Who would say things like, “You don’t need to do that. That’s for people who (insert fitness misconception)”. Statements like this can demotivate the best of us.
You need to be prepared to reply quickly. I arm my clients with a simple statement to keep in their back pocket: “Look, these goals are important to me. And I’d like your support; but if I can’t have your support, I demand your silence.” I understand that making a statement like this will be uncomfortable. But it will be more uncomfortable for the person you speak to.
They made an initial effort to come in and disrupt what you’re building, but they will quickly retreat when they see how fortified your healthy position is. I liken this to building a moat around your healthy lifestyle. Try these techniques and you’ll find more success in your health & fitness goals this year.
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